


Selfless Love

by ym4yum1



Series: Chris Crush Universe [6]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Next Avengers
Genre: Cats, Dogs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Married Couple, Pets, WARNING: Pet death, loss of pet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27303634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ym4yum1/pseuds/ym4yum1
Summary: After 15 years, the Rogers family faced the emotional challenge of saying goodbye to their beloved friend Sneg.WARNING:Pet death. Lots of tears.Set in the Chris Crush Universe, but it can be read as a stand-alone Romanogers story where Steve and Natasha are married with children.Disclaimers:Marvel characters belong to Marvel, inspired by the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), Animation, TV series, Cartoons and Comics. Sneg and the children are all mine!
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff
Series: Chris Crush Universe [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/72931
Comments: 14
Kudos: 24





	Selfless Love

**Saturday, September 30th, 2028.**

The Central Asian Shepherd dog had been an integral part of the Rogers family since he was 10 months old, and reached his 15th birthday on the 12th – an incredible milestone. Thanks to Stark's state-of-art technology always available to the Rogers, Dr. Gregg, the veterinarian who had been taking care of Sneg since he was born, had been monitoring him very closely, and had warned the family that his life was coming to an end. After last week's check-up, the doctor prescribed medications and a special diet, among basic care to keep him comfortable.

Always patient and attentive, Natasha had been preparing their children for dealing with the impending outcome, answering their thousands of questions, while Steve helped their 13-year-old son James, who took the job of taking care of their elderly dog.

It was a chilly, cloudy weekend and the family spent the day at home, hovering around the home theater couch, where Sneg had been resting lately, without strength to move much.

Almost eight years old, the twins Andrew and Luke brought clean pillows and blankets, while Steve moved Sneg, as gently as possible, so that James could change the dirty ones – the dog was around 180 pounds.

Also wanting to take care of their beloved friend, 10-year-old Sarah helped her baby sister Angela to select a toy for Sneg to sleep with. The four-year-old brought his Bucky Bear plush, which was an all time favorite for all the Rogers children.

When Natasha called them to bed, she reasoned, "Sneg needs peace to rest." She would always try to explain the reason behind each order, even though the children knew it was pointless to try disobeying their mother. So, despite their crying protests, they all said their goodbyes.

Caressing Sneg's head, Natasha looked at his tired eyes, once so expressive and alive, realizing their bear-like dog never looked more fragile. Her heart broke remembering her lovely puppy, who had taught her that she could be a mom, even before she had believed it would be possible. Choking back tears, she kissed him goodnight and whispered, "My good boy. I love you so much. It's okay. Sleep well, baby."

The wife then gazed at her husband, unshed tears bright in her eyes, and Steve understood what Natasha wasn't saying in front of their children. Leaning in, he kissed her softly and reassured, "Go. I'll stay." As a well-oiled team, the couple would work in synchrony to take care of their loved ones, even if that meant to be separated from each other at that difficult time.

Carrying Angela, who was already falling asleep, the mother walked to the master bedroom followed by her other children and Snowflake, Sneg's four-year-old daughter. They all cuddled together in her bed and Natasha sang them to sleep with Russian lullabies.

Already a teenager, and Sneg's official caretaker, James had been allowed to stay with his best friend. Almost inseparable since day one, the guardian dog and the Rogers' firstborn had grown up together. Throughout the years, Sneg had welcomed all the five children, helping to take care of each one of them. Nonetheless, after making his evening round around the house, and checking if everyone had fallen asleep, the faithful dog would always come to rest beside James. They couldn't be apart now.

Sitting side by side, with the dog resting between them, father and son waited quietly, until the teenager complained, "I still don't understand why there isn't something to keep him alive."

"Like what?"

"A vaccine, like your super serum."

The father tilted his head and replied, "It wasn't exactly a vaccine."

"Mom's was, right?"

Steve stopped to think for a moment, but since Natasha had already talked about it, it should be okay for him to continue with caution. "You know you can't talk about this with anyone, right?"

"Sure, Dad. Only mom and you."

"Yes. As far as I know, your mom received a weaker variant of the serum I got through an intravenous injection, but everything about this it's a secret, okay? Mine happened pretty much like in that old Captain America movie you saw the other day." The son nodded and the father continued, "But the point is, these drugs weren't exactly safe."

"But they worked, right?"

"Well, there were always risks involved in these kinds of experiments. For one, mine hurt a lot, and I could've died."

"That was what, a century ago? We're much more advanced today, Dad," James pointed, since Science was his favorite subject.

"That's true. But the scientist who created my serum was a genius. Until today, no one could ever replicate Dr. Erskine's work. Not for lack of trying. You know what happened with Bruce and, at least, he's alive. There were many other failed attempts," the father explained. "And I'm truly grateful that neither you or your siblings have any strange side-effects."

Thanks to the serums they inherited from both parents, the Rogers children were also improved to the peak human condition, had accelerated healing, and were immune to most diseases and poisons. Growing up, they would excel in all physical activities and also had an increased appetite. No doubt, they were a handful, but still within the realms of normality. So far, none of them were considered super anything. That could begin to change since James started puberty, the doctors had already warned the parents.

"Besides, I wouldn't want to submit Sneg to an experimental thing like that. Would you?" Steve gave his final argument.

The redhead teenager, however, wasn't about to give up trying to save his best friend, and insisted, "Can't we at least keep him frozen until it's safe then?"

Caressing the dog's head, the father asked, "But for how long? Would it be fair to him? Can you imagine him waking up years later and seeing you all grown up? Everything he knew would be different."

"But you did it."

"It was an accident. And I paid a high price." Steve reflected about what else to say and how deep he should go, before deciding to talk about everything. "You see, James, I have no regrets. Being frozen was the best thing that could've happened to me, but only because of our family. Except that I couldn't know it when I woke up. It was tough. I had lost everyone I loved, everything I knew. My body was fine, but my mind… wasn't. I was depressed and I had PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder, you know what that is?"

Concerned, the boy replied, "Yes, we had a lecture at school. I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't know. You're okay now, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. I had support and went to therapy. But don't forget, I'm only okay because I found my true purpose in life when I met your mother. And she gave me you guys." Despite the heavy subject, Steve couldn't help but smile.

After pondering for a moment, James replied, "Sneg already has a purpose, us, right?"

"Yeah, I think so." Caressing the dog's head, the father tried to reason, "But what if, by trying something unnatural like this, we jeopardize his mental health?"

"What do you mean?"

"He can't talk to us. He can't choose. We don't really know how his mind works. We only guess. What if we're wrong?"

"You think it wouldn't be good for him to be healthy and strong again?"

"We can't be sure, can we?" Steve paused, thinking about a way to better express his concerns, before saying, "Look at Snowflake. Sneg was like her, years ago, do you remember? Stronger, yes, but also active, curious, full of life and energy. He hasn't been like this for a long time."

"You mean he got old?"

"Yes, exactly. Like me, for example. I still have the same strength I had since I got the serum, but I'm not as active anymore. My mind isn't the same. Time changed me. It changed him too."

Holding the already lethargic dog, James whined, "But I need to save him, Dad, please."

"I know, son. I'm sorry. But that's the thing, we can't save everyone."

Catching the underlying meaning behind his father's words, the son questioned, "Not even when you were Captain America?"

"No. No one can."

"I don't want to be a hero if it's like this," the teenager replied with anger and frustration.

Puzzled, the father frowned, before saying, "What are you talking about, son? You don't need to be anything you don't want to."

Visibly distressed, James complained, "But everybody expects me to take your place, to be a hero like you."

"Who's everybody? I don't expect it, nor does your mother," Steve said calmly. " You don't need to take your uncles' jokes seriously, okay?"

"Uncle Bucky said he's waiting for me to grow up, to give the shield back to me. That it belongs with our family." The boy had a very close relationship with his godfather, whom he had been named after.

"Ah, don't worry. Bucky only says that because he thinks he owes me, and that he's not worthy of it." Steve shook his head and breathed in deeply. "He loves you like a son, you know that, right? Trust me, like your mother and I, he wants you and your siblings to be happy, no matter what." Patting his son's shoulder, he continued, "Captain America always stood up for freedom, James. Your future is yours to choose. You can be anything you want to. You don't need to fulfill anyone's expectations, no matter how much you love them, okay?" The son nodded shyly and the father smiled, before asking, "So, what do _you_ want to be?"

As a child, James had loved to play superhero like any other kid, but as he got older, another dream had taken his mind. "I want to be a veterinarian, Dad, to understand animals and save them."

"So, do you want to work with sick and dying animals all the time? Is that what you're talking about?"

"Yes." James was resolute. Since Sneg had gotten too weak to move, the teenager had been following Dr. Gregg's instructions, feeding and cleaning after the huge dog, without any complaint.

Steve couldn't be prouder, and encouraged him, "I think you'll be a great vet, son. Sneg's lucky to have you."

Leaning in to rest his head on his dog's back, James wept, "But I don't want to say goodbye."

"I know. Me neither," he replied quietly, caressing his son's head. "And I know it's not always easy to understand God's way, but each living creature on Earth has their own path… their own time. And as much as mine was very unorthodox, I do believe it was God's plan for me all along, for me to have our family the way it is." After a brief while, he continued as calmly as possible, "Sneg was always loved by our family and friends. And he loves us, in the most selfless and devoted way. So, I do believe he lived a happy life. And I know we're doing the best we can, the best science can give us, to make him comfortable, and to keep him from suffering any pain." He paused once again, contemplating what he was about to say. "I know it hurts to hear this, son, but now I think it's time for him to rest."

The teenager asked among tears, "Do-do you think he'll… die today?"

That was certainly one of the difficult moments a parent had to face. Should he have omitted the truth to protect his son? Would James ever forgive him? Steve prayed, asking for courage to break his son's heart.

Two pairs of baby-blue eyes locked together with a teary gaze, and the father replied with sorrow, "Your mom thinks so. I'm sorry."

It was inevitable. Holding Sneg close, James choked on his sobs, while Steve tried to comfort both his son and the worried dog. When exhaustion took the best of the boy, he drifted off, and the always protective dog relaxed again.

Sadly this time, Natasha was right once more.

As the house finally became silent and the only sounds heard were the old dog's labored breathing, Snowflake returned to lay beside her father and rested her head on his back. Liho, the 14-year-old reclusive black cat, also appeared from her hidden spot to lie between Sneg's large paws, near the Bucky Bear plush the girls had left there.

Steve realized the time had come.

Gently dropping the book he was trying to read, he rubbed Sneg's ears, and started to sooth his old friend. "It's okay, buddy. They're all sleeping, all safe. James is okay. You did a good job. You can rest now." Keeping his emotions in check, he tried his best to keep the dog peaceful, speaking calmly, "Thanks for taking care of them… of all of us. You're the best, y'know? It's okay."

It didn't take long. As if following his master's command, Sneg twitched for a few minutes before drawing his last breath.

Soon after, Liho went away as quiet as she came, and Snowflake started to lick Sneg's body, seeking in vain for a reaction. Patting her head, Steve sniffed and wiped his eyes, while trying to comfort her, "We'll miss him, right? But… we'll be okay. You'll take care of us, won't you? You're such a good girl."

It was heartbreaking. Snowflake was restless, and her painful whines woke up James.

That night, father and son held each other, mourning their lost friend, and the teenager learned that even strong and powerful superheroes could cry. Their bond strengthened even more.

* * *

**Sunday.**

The next morning, Sneg was buried in the garden beside his favorite tree.

The Bartons and the Barnes were present, and they all had lunch together.

Francis Barton, the first Avenger child, was James' oldest friend and had also grown up with Sneg during the time they all had lived at the Avengers Tower. While the adults reminisced and the children ran around the garden with Snowflake, the two teenagers played video games in an awkward silence.

Unbeknownst to them all, Liho was hiding underneath James' bed near the spot Sneg used to rest – after his passing, the elderly cat became even more reclusive.

* * *

At night, the whole family was cuddling together in the master bedroom.

Among other stories, Natasha shared some personal memories about her own dog, when she was a child. "His name was Snezhok. We say Снежок in Russian, which means 'snowball'. He looked exactly like Sneg. We say Снег, which means 'snow'. That's where his name came from." She had explained this before, but it was always worth repeating for the sake of their younger children. With her natural calm and soothing way, she also told them that her parents had died, and she had become an orphan.

As expected, the kids had several questions.

"Sneg-hok died too?"

"Did you cry?"

"You were all alone?"

"You didn't have brothers or sisters?"

Their innocence and natural curiosity melted both parents' hearts. But Steve couldn't help but worry about Natasha having to deal with such touching questions, until he saw her answering their children with her sweet and kind smile. "Yes, they all died, and I cried. It's okay to cry, right? Especially when we're sad, or in pain. I'm an only child. It felt lonely. But that was a long time ago. I'm not alone anymore, I have you all!" She hugged two of her boys that were on either side of her.

James had been quiet the whole time, missing his friend more than anyone else. But after hearing his mother's sad story again, a question came to the teenager's mind. "How old were you, Mom?"

"Four or five, I don't remember much." Those were the facts she could share with them today. There were other things she had learned about her early childhood afterwards, but they weren't asking about it, nor about what had happened after. Inevitably, they would want to know more as they grew up – Natasha was well aware of it. But for the happily married mother of five, that past life never seemed more distant.

Looking at his four-year-old sister Angela, comfortably falling asleep in their father's secure arms, the teenager was beginning to understand what that all meant. Quietly, James snuggled into his mother's embrace, and whispered, "I'm sorry, Mom."

"It's okay, солнышко," she replied, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

Thankfully, the younger children would quickly be entertained sharing their own ideas.

Always imaginative, Sarah was the chattiest, "Mom, I think Sneg and Sneg-hok are in dog's heaven."

"That sounds about right, honey."

Cuddling between his parents, sweet and shy Andrew asked, "Mom, what if grandma and grandpa are taking care of them?"

"Aw, that'd be lovely, Andy."

Resting on their father's leg, his twin brother Luke had a totally different and more practical question, "Dad, can we get another dog?"

Not wanting Sneg to be replaced, James grunted, "We don't need another dog."

"But I want one," the middle child insisted.

Unsure, Steve looked at Natasha, waiting for guidance. "Well, Luke…"

Knowing her husband would have a hard time saying no to their children, especially today, the wife replied promptly, "Your dad and I need to think about that."

The redhead boy wasn't satisfied, and pouted, "Mom! You always say that when you want to say _no_."

This time, James had to agree with his younger brother, but he just chuckled and nodded silently. Sarah, however, couldn't help but voice her opinion out loud, "I don't want another dog, Mom, but Luke's right. You always say this."

"There are some things we can't decide by impulse," Natasha began to explain, "We're missing Sneg, we're feeling sad, it's called mourning. It'll take time for us to feel better again. After that, your dad and I will talk about it, okay?"

"But why? Please, Mommy, say yes," Luke begged, "Dad always says you're the boss anyway."

The mother looked at the father, who shrugged his shoulders discreetly. Not missing a beat, Natasha replied, emphasizing the last word, "Not today. We'll talk about this _later_."

Almost in tears, the blonde twin protested, "Mommy, I don't want another dog. I want Sneg un-dead."

Hugging her lamenting son, the mother spoke gently, "Oh. I'm sorry, Andy, that's not possible. Sneg can't come back."

"Why not? Dad and Uncle Bucky did it!" The boy had a valid point – according to the history books they studied, both WWII heroes had been declared dead.

Steve had to refrain from laughing, while Natasha answered patiently, "They weren't really dead, sweetheart, just missing. But no one found them for a long, long time, so they thought they were dead."

"I miss Sneg so much," Andrew cried.

"I miss him too, Андрю́ша," the mother pulled him into her lap and held him close. "But we have Snowflake, right? She's a part of Sneg."

Hearing her name, the dog barked softly and Sarah, who was using the dog as a pillow, got curious, "So Snowflake is an orphan now?"

"Yes. But I think her mother's still alive. Remember we met her when we got Snowflake as a puppy?"

The blonde girl nodded with a smile.

Not really interested in this discussion, James interrupted, "How's Snowflake in Russian?"

"Снежинка."

"Snezhinka," he repeated.

"Perfect," Natasha praised, proud of his accent.

"How about Liho? She's an orphan too?"

"Probably yes, Luke. Sneg rescued Liho when she was a little kitten. We couldn't find any information about her at the time."

"Sneg is a hero!"

"Yes, Andy, he was."

Pulling her father's T-shirt, a sleepy Angela made him look at her before flashing her baby-blue eyes. "Daddy, can we get a bunny, pleeease? Can he live foreeever?" Even the younger one already knew he was an easy target. If Steve's puppy-dog eyes were an impossible thing to resist, imagine hers!

And he was a goner. "Aw, princess…"

Once a master manipulator herself, even Natasha had to use all her skills to not fall for any of the Rogers' charms. And yet, she didn't succeed all the time. Rolling her eyes, she replied, "Okay. Now it's time to sleep. I promise you that we'll think about getting other pets. But not today."

Losing Sneg had been a devastating experience, but together as a family, they were already healing.

Steve was once again enchanted by how great of a mother Natasha was, teaching their children that death was part of life while sharing small parts of their tragic past. And she was making them all feel better despite the sadness in their hearts. As someone who grew up among lies and deception, Mrs. Rogers had one unshakable rule – to never lie to their children. Obviously, she couldn't tell them everything, but everything she said was true. Mr. Rogers couldn't be prouder.

As the emotional weekend was coming to an end, the couple tucked the children into their respective beds, before retiring to their own room. Cuddling together, Natasha was finally able to relax in the comfort of Steve's carrying arms, and their tears mixed together as they mourned the loss of their first baby.

* * *

A few months later, when the family was visiting the animal shelter where James was volunteering, Luke was allowed to adopt a rescue dog. Sarah helped him to choose and they named him Dodger, after an old Disney movie. Angela still wanted a bunny, but fell in love with an orange cat and called him Oliver, after the same movie. Andrew helped James and tried to learn everything about the animals around, but he didn't want another pet since he and Snowflake had become inseparable.

As for James, he would never have another dog of his own, but began to follow his path to become a veterinarian. He would never forget Sneg.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I'm still alive, even if some days it doesn't feel that way. For those who didn't know, I was struggling with depression and anxiety, so I stopped writing, drawing, everything, for almost 5 years. But I never lost faith. It's still difficult, but thank goodness, I'm back.
> 
> This is not my usual happy story. I'm sorry for the tears.
> 
> I didn't plan for my first piece to be such an emotional one, but life doesn't always follow plans.
> 
> My long hiatus finally came to an end last March, when I posted a new drawing at deviantart. And I started to write again in April. As a way to get my confidence back, I began to work on the Chris Crush main story, revising old chapters before posting the last one. (That's the thing I'm set to do, I need to finish that story the way I envisioned it, 7 years ago. Fingers crossed.) So far, I've posted more than 23 thousands NEW words until chapter 9. There's more to come. I'm writing down the things that were on my mind but never on paper. It won't change the story, but it'll add more depth on many parts. And I've been posting it without any pressure – old chapters, no one is reading them anyway (although I wish someone did).
> 
> But then, in August, I found myself mourning. And since I couldn't do anything else, I started to write about it. This story started as a part of some other scene, as a flashback, but then I realized Sneg was too important and deserved his own piece.
> 
> Technically, this would belong to Chris Crush (Family). But since it's set in the far away future, I'll post it separately.
> 
> And now here I am, posting something new for the first time since 2015… and I'm beyond terrified.
> 
> Please, review. Tell me anything, but please, show me there is still someone interested in reading what I have to say. Not knowing is heartbreaking. And feel free to write in English, Portuguese or Spanish.
> 
> Thanks to my beloved daughter for her invaluable help, infinite patience, and eternal inspiration, especially with the children's characterization.
> 
> And to my dearest beta Lovedrr, thanks for never giving up on me. I couldn't ask for a better friend.
> 
> Stay safe, stay strong.
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> Xoxo Mari
> 
>  **Russian** : Снежок (Snezhok) Snowball. Снег (Sneg) Snow. Снежинка (Snezhinka) Snowflake. Солнышко (Solnyshko) Sunshine, also meaning sweetheart. Андрю́ша (Andryúsha) diminutive form of Andrew.  
>  **References** : Fanfiction: **_Chris Crush (main)_** , chapter 13 - Sneg's first appearance.  
> Animated movie: **_Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow_** (2008) - James Rogers, son of Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff.  
> Marvel Comics: **_Black Widow Vol 5_** #1 (2014) - Liho's first appearance  
>  ** _What If_** **?** Vol 2 #114 **" _Brave New World_ "** (1989) - Sarah Rogers, daughter of Steve Rogers.


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